When I was eighteen years old, I arrived at Tiruvannamalai.
In those days they didn’t have jet planes. It was a propeller plane. I
purchased flowers and a bag of fruit to bring to Ramana. I took the rickshaw to
the ashram. It was about 8:30 a.m. I entered the hall and there was Ramana on
his couch reading his mail. It was after breakfast. I brought the fruit and the
flowers over and laid them on his feet. There was a guardrail in front of him
to prevent fanatics from attacking him with love. And then I sat down in front
of him. He looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back.
I have been to many teachers, many saints, many sages. I was
with Nisargadatta, Ananda Mayi Ma, Papa Ramdas, Neem Karoli Baba and many
others, but never did I meet anyone who exuded such compassion, such love, such
bliss as Ramana Maharshi. There were about thirty people in the room. He looked
at me and asked me if I’d eaten breakfast. I said, ‘No’. He spoke some Tamil to
the attendant and the attendant came back with two giant leaves, one with fruit
and one with some porridge with pepper. After I had consumed the food, I just
lay down on the floor. I was very tired.
It was time for his usual walk. He had arthritis in the legs
and could hardly walk at that time. After his attendants had helped him to get
up, he walked out the door. When he was outside he said something to his
attendants, and his attendants motioned for me to come. He guided me to a
little shack that I was going to use while I stayed there. He came inside with
me, and I bet you think we spoke about profound subjects. On the contrary, he
was a natural man. He was the Self of the universe. He asked me how my trip
was, where I was from, what made me come here. Then he said I should rest, so I
lay down on the cot and he left.
I was awakened about 5 o’clock. It was Ramana again. He came
by himself and he brought me food. Can you imagine that? We spoke briefly; I
ate and I slept. The next morning I went into the hall. After the morning
chanting there was breakfast, and everybody sat around just watching Ramana as
he went through his routine. He would go through the mail and read it out loud,
talk to some of his devotees. I just observed everything. His composure never
changed. Never did I see such compassion, such love.
********
Six months prior to his leaving his body, I went to
Bangalore to see Papa Ramdas. While I was there, I was informed that he
[Bhagavan] had left his body. I went back to Tiruvannamalai. The crowds had
already started to come, thousands and thousands of people. So, I climbed the
hill and went into one of the caves. I stayed there for five days. When I came
down, the crowds had dispersed. Ramana had already been interred.
I enquired of the devotee who saw him last, ‘What were the
last words he spoke?’
The devotee said, ‘While he was leaving his body a peacock
flew on top of the hall and started screeching. Ramana remarked to his devotee,
‘Has anyone fed the peacock yet?’ Those were the last words he spoke.
Now, let’s talk about you. Think of the problems you believe
you have. Think of the nonsense that you go on with everyday. Think how furious
you become, how you always want to stick up for your rights, as if you had any.
The problem is, you think. If you would only stop thinking.
You say, ‘How can I function if I stop thinking?’
Very well, thank you! As a matter of fact you will function
much better than you do now, for you will always be taken care of. The universe
loves you. It will always supply you with your needs. Forget about other
people, what they do, what they don’t do. Do not listen to malicious gossip. Be
yourself. Understand who you really are. You are the absolute reality,
unconditioned consciousness. Work from that standpoint. Do not work from your
problems. Do not get lost in meaningless gossip. Understand your true reality.
Be yourself.
What Ramana taught was not new. Ramana simply taught the
Upanishads. ‘Who am I?’ has been around since time immemorial. If a teacher
always tells you he has something new to teach you, be careful, because there’s
nothing new under the sun. Ramana simply revised the ‘Who am I’ philosophy and
made it simple for people in the twentieth century. But what did he teach? He
simply taught that you are not the body-mind principle. He simply taught that
if you have a problem, do not feel sorry for yourself, do not go to
psychiatrists, do not condemn yourself. Simply ask yourself, ‘To whom does this
problem come?’ And of course the answer will be, ‘The problem comes to me’.
Hold onto the ‘me’. Follow the ‘me’ to the source, the substratum of all
existence.
How do you do that? How do you hold onto ‘me’? How do you
hold onto ‘I’? By simply asking yourself, ‘Who am I? What am I?’ It’s the same
thing. Ask yourself again and again, ‘Who am I?’
Forget about time. Forget about space. Forget everything.
Keep yourself from thinking. When the thoughts come, ask yourself, ‘To whom
comes the thoughts?’
Again, ‘They come to me.’ Hold onto the ‘me’. ‘I think these
thoughts. Well then, Who am I? Who thinks these thoughts? Who am I?’
An easier way to do this I have found is to simply say to
yourself, ‘I-I, I-I,’ and you will notice as you do this, the I-I goes deeper,
deeper, deeper within you into your Heart centre, right to the source. For
westerners I have found that saying ‘I-I’ seems to be more helpful than ‘Who am
I?’ Again, do not look at time. Do not ask yourself, ‘When is something going
to happen?’
A devotee went to Ramana and said, ‘I’ve been with you for
twenty-five years, doing “Who am I?” and nothing has happened yet,’ so Ramana
said, ‘Try it another twenty-five and see what happens’.
