six secret footnotes to the sixth tantra

first. western medicine doesn’t mix with heart.

second. i am and the universal. not two.

if you love the dream, make the dream. third.


teachers sell knowledge. students are knowledge. thank god for poetry.

i was told about my birth. and only hear about my death. just imagine self-awareness!

unborn but eternal. in the name of pure awareness, self-awareness is the word of god.

Sixth Tantra. Christmas at Eleven.

Absolute awareness. Intent. Being. Body-mind. Ego and other as the world. After the projection is the revelator. Self-awareness.

Embodiment is like manifesting self-awareness. Imagine self-awareness three times.

Science is fiction but fantasy is as real as it gets before and after absolution. In other words, I am.

Footnote. Embodiment is not embodiment of the body-mind but embodiment of the universal—

both universal consciousness and its manifestation as the universe. Point a finger. Make a moon.

The difference between projection and manifestation is viewers like me and you and an artist like my self.

One learns from the world. Self-awareness makes the world. It all depends upon which side of the mirror I’m looking at or being through.

Projection is like owning a home but renting the world. Baby steps goes the teacher. I make the universe. Who needs to own?

Every wild projection is bested by an ace of hearts. Or a fifth of being. Or Jane of the absolute.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn manifestly self-aware. Like out of nowhere, Santa Claus!

If sex divides and love unites, what are you looking at? Don't believe in the kingdom of heaven. Be s/he.

Tantra Number Five in Seeing Through

belief is everything but love is something else
All hail the great and powerful cause. Belief is everything but love is something else. And severe renunciation is the zen of zen if zen is everything and zen is never something else.

it's like self-remembering
This Tantra says to kiss the idiot or is that Arthur Miller in After the Fall. It's like self-remembering except self is not a memory so there is no question of remembering. Gurdjieff was quite the trickster.

kissing the projection makes it manifestly mine
Kissing the projection makes it manifestly mine. Self-awareness takes an evolutionary and reflexive universe according to Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, and Arthur M. Young. Respect the process.

squeeze the shaman
Turning projection into manifestation is just a matter of imagination. Go ahead. Squeeze the shaman. No thoughts, no prayers, no renunciation. No doing. Just intent's desire and a little imagination will do.

jesus is all my imagination
And Jesus didn't die for my sins because Jesus never dies. Plus there is no sin. Jesus is all my imagination. Thus Jesus dies so I can see through sin, belief, samsara, hell, whatever name of not nirvana, heaven, paradise—

ninety-nine parts attention
love and wisdom, self-aware absolute self I name. Imagination is ninety-nine parts attention to the emptiness of transformation like a headless head aware. And one part dreaming lucidly.

four footnotes to the fourth tantra

consciousness talking to consciousness sounds like an affirmation

but it’s just talking girl

it’s not that there’s not

pure awareness

it’s that there is

self-awareness

not two by half

four footnotes to eight couplets at half-time

prohibition doesn’t work because old medicines

not fade away

compassion before deconstruction

garysnyder notwithstanding

chuang tzu meeting zhuangzi on the way

no axe makes the axe

Fourth Tantra in Eight Couplets

All the world's a past
like intent's desire leaving the world in its wake.

S/he not being loving is
busy dying.

No mind is not no love unless
no mind is just all mind.

In fact, the past is resurrected by great love,
oh listen to this tantric Jesus talking.

Some like to keep the world around them sparse
because the past is such a nightmare.

Some like to keep the world around them half
because of love and wisdom.

In other words, denial still is in the world.
Imagination is out of this world.

This is called Tantra of Intrepid
Self-Awareness.

Six Footnotes to Third Tantra on One Bliss

It’s not nothing.

If pure awareness, then self-awareness. If self-awareness, then being. If being then dreaming. If dreaming then the lucid dreaming of self-awareness. If self-awareness then pure awareness.

Ah ha! Svaha!

Just imagine this as that and that as this and all is bliss.

Lucid lightning—

“in the very moment, in the natural disposition of pure being, as the original hyper-space that we cannot abandon, the natural state of pure pleasure is spontaneously arisen.”

Third Tantra

Bliss is the default mode of universal consciousness. It's really nothing special. Unless one has been conditioned to think otherwise. Bliss misunderstood is pain and suffering and all kinds of stress.

Self-awareness is the source of bliss as pure awareness is the ground. Bliss is the ground loop between awareness and self-awareness. Being. Consciousness. Love. Etc.

In the waves appear distortion. This is called samsara. Like reflections in a mirror. Or thinking otherwise. Seeing thru the looking glass—
          In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
          A stately pleasure-dome decree:
          Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
          Through caverns measureless to man
          Down to a sunless sea.
I am manifesting this. I never not was manifesting this.

One in a million is a teacher. The rest is just a puzzle to be deconstructed. After projection is prophecy. Before self-awareness is lucid dreaming—"al shal be wel, and al shal be wel, and al manner of thyng shal be wele."

Self-awareness already happened so to speak. This is just the sound and fury of thunder—and chain lightning. It's little understood that Buddha is telling Buddha what to do if Buddha meets Buddha on the road.

It's called loving deconstruction. Also, after Buddha kills Buddha there is—only Buddha. Like after Sutra is Tantra.

Talking Out of the Ordinary

Ordinary (adj.) Early 15c., "belonging to the usual order or course," from old french ordinarie "ordinary, usual" and directly from latin ordinarius "customary, regular, usual, orderly," from ordo (genitive ordinis) "row, rank, series, arrangement" (see order (n.)). ~etymonline

Love is not ordinary. But those who think it is are. For samsara is extraordinary. Pure awareness is out of the ordinary. Or rather that unknown godhead ground upon which the ordinary is projected.

Attention may be given but awareness is beyond such an ordinary transaction—despite the careless, effortless, and apathetic existentialism passing as wisdom-speak these days.

For awareness sends not its love into the world to reckon the world; but that the world through this unconditional love may be seen through. In other words, this unorthodox methodology of self-awareness.

My First Untitled Symphony

Don't believe the myth of self. Deconstruct the world. It's Chinatown. Forget it. The only known is being. That's the only knowledge of the absolute unknown godhead that there is. But don't believe this either. Even being is conceptual. In other words, I'm like the razor's edge. One belief and it's the Fall of Man.

Since the only known is the unknown, I dream the knowing this in mythic style. Every koan reveals bizarro world. So forget logic. And don't get me started on western medicine. It's time to leave my Maya's cellar. Who are you? Lately I’ve been dreaming the marriage of William Blake and Julian of Norwich.

Since I'm here already, let's make this evolutionary self-awareness a city on a hill. Remember Alice. It's wonderland. Construction! Pure awareness being self-aware is the only story. Like boy meets girl except non-duality. I kind of like the sincerity of Old English over irony of post-modern, or shit, the lazy existentialism of the present. But hey that's me.

Good myths are all unthinkable but a great myth is unbelievable. So imagination is to self-awareness as self-awareness is to imagination. So manifesting is direct path as if this universe is the result of some big bang. A river runs through the canyon of the dead. I turn on. I turn off. Like some common loon if seen from shore. The walrus was Big Sur.

Eleven Apocalypses by Merrimack River

Fate is everything but love.

The conceptual dream is like a pinball game of Newtonian physics until body-mind is dropped and quantum love creates another unknown vector for another dream.

This is called reincarnation. This is called resurrection.  This is in the same genre as that of alternative universes.

What is called desire by the world is not desire. This so-called desire is like following a train of thought as fast as thought can go until I think I'm catching fire.

True desire is Intent's desire. This intense desire is at the speed of love, or light.

What the world calls desire, I call secret ambition. What the world calls crazy love, I call desire. I can hear her heartbeat for ten thousand miles.

True desire isn't catching fire. That's just an extreme thought. True desire is the fire. There's nothing to be got.

You cannot break the rules of pinball, or samsara. Remember, the pinball wizard plays by intuition.

Intuition is another name for intense feeling. Feeling is another name for intense love. Love is another name for intense desire, a colloquialism for Intent's desire, Self-awareness.

Like actual deconstruction doesn't break the rules; it gets to know them from both sides.

november river

no boats no docks no nothing

wild unborn water