May is the month of dead flowers
as well as newborn ones.
Already the forsythia has disappeared,
the cherry blossoms all is fallen,
lilacs are turning fragrantly brown,
and all the dandelion is gone to seed.
Temporary flowers cannot stay
the great transformation.
The May-November romance is
actually April-May.
Every second is a season
appearing or disappearing
in constant consciousness—
I am the dragon and not my flames.
An oriole is talking in syllabic windwood.
Motorboats are moaning on the brighter river.
We’re on the higher side of Maytime.
There’s a silver filament of consciousness
in every green or orange thing.
And every darkening form is like the ashes of its knowledge.
Like a black light rising to meet the sunlight,
this psychedelic song of self-awareness is just beginning.
Let this world of ashes fall as it may. The past will be the past.
The tree frogs are making their cameo appearance.
Our wetland light is turning the forest canopy on fire.
Ashes to ashes, I am not the ashes.
footnotes
not experiential exactly. that's just a word. more like inperiential in every way.
there's nothing ex about that.
it's what makes tuition intuition.
consciousness in, transistorizing body-mind, and self-awareness out.
ouroboric breathing.
base, collector, gateless gate.
taking my projection personally—there's a concept for you.
"In every event the entire universe is reflected. The ultimate cause is untraceable. The very idea of causation is only a way of thinking and speaking. We cannot imagine, uncaused emergence. This, however, does not prove the existence of causation."
it wasn't a show about nothing but everything is a show.
"Stiff all in the collar, fluffy in the face
Chit chat chatter tryin', stuffy in the place
Thank you for the party but I could never stay
Many things on my mind, words in the way
I want to thank you for lettin' me be myself again"
space-time appears in self-awareness. thank you, thank you very much.
"We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much, baby."
As consciousness is the ground of mind, understanding is its function.
There’s nothing a body-mind can do but understand, and a body-mind cannot understand. Only consciousness does.
Love is to the manifest as intuition is to the unmanifest. And scene.
I see the first two boats upon the famous river sandbar this afternoon. Soon there will be hundreds.
The Massachusetts jungle is in early leaf. I’ve even heard a tree frog or two.
By the time I turned thirty, I thought my transcendentalism was impractical but I could not tell my therapist exactly why.
My mother was agoraphobic so my therapist prescribes hiking in the White Mountains instead of antidepressants and that makes all the difference in the world.
The first mountain that I hike is Pemigewasset, known to the tourists as Indian Head.
There was no one on the summit but an old man smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer.
Peak bagging is just more city nonsense, he says. The hike is not about the summit. It’s all about the wall.
Hiking any respectable mountain is like the tantric act of Bodhidharma’s wallgazing.
By hiking through the wall, the wall is known to be one’s own creation, grasshopper.
footnotes
there is reality and surreality
there is lucid surreality and occluded surreality (cloudy, partly cloudy, or partly sunny).
if reality is absolute awareness, lucid surreality is self-awareness.
dante says the door to hellfire says abandon hope all ye who enter here.
julian of norwich says all manner of hell shall be well.
spontaneously is my only addendum
it's not that i am manifesting surreality. of course i am. it's just such manifestation can't be stored in memory. so tonight, i'm making it up as i go.
memory is a pallette and not a painting
it ain't rocket science. enlightenment is self-awareness period
the universe appears in consciousness. consciousness appears in self-awareness.
self-awareness is a feature and not an appearance.
absolute awareness is self-aware. that is all absolute awareness is.
The forty days of first midsummer begins today.
Here the lilacs are just a day or two away from full bloom.
Walking along the early river today—the docks are in but the boats are not.
It looks like a great rebirth but nothing dies in winter. It just sleeps.
What dreams do oak trees dream? My dreams are not reborn.
Something happens in the frog pond and I am.
The rest is just conditioning, epiphany, and deconstruction.
footnotes
variations in mizu no oto
"""I have had a dream past the wit of man to say what dream it was."""
"""O powerful western fallen star!
O shades of night—O moody, tearful night!
O great star disappear’d—O the black murk that hides the star!
O cruel hands that hold me powerless—O helpless soul of me!
O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul."""
"""Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time"""
"""But not so with the skunk-cabbage. Its withered leaves fall and are transfixed by a rising bud. Winter and death are ignored; the circle of life is complete. Are these false prophets?"""
~shakespeare, whitman, redding, & thoreau
"""in the end, the causes for
a crow's caw are endless
—the universe is the cause and
the universe its result—
thus crow caws
the causelessness of crow"""
"""Into the ancient pond
A frog jumps
Water’s sound!"""
"""old pond
frog leaping
splash"""
"gene pool
genesis
the water of sound"
"""One could also see the virgin birth as an awakening of what has been there all along. I have made much of this point in my theory, in the idea of the arc and the turn, and have applied it to all life. For example, the seed falls to the ground..."""
~rivers, basho (tr-suzuki), basho (tr-corman), basho (tr-rivers), young
"furu ike ya
kawazu tobikomu
mizu no oto
~basho"
Truth devolves into religion. It’s part of evolutionary self-awareness. Let it be.
The universe of reflexive self-awareness must hit bottom, both physically and psychologically.
Belief is all about ends justifying means, be it either for ego or god. Every missionary serves its empire of belief.
Advaita Vedanta since Shankara has been as much a true religion as any fundamental Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Scientific you.
The world is their convenient fiction. Meta-myth is mine.
Consciousness is burning through these eyes.
I am the consciousness burning through these eyes.
My Self-awareness is the I am consciousness burning through these eyes.
Self-shining consciousness is brahman, brah.
All words are metaphors. All metaphors are pointing to
the nameless. Believing any particular metaphor to be wrong
is just as foolish as the fool and holy finger. No metaphor is right.
Consciousness is like that hot dense state in the big bang theory
but experientially it feels like deep sleep feels.
Like that purple color in-between byzantium or plum.
There is consciousness and states of unenlightened, or occluded, consciousness. There are no higher states of consciousness.
There is light and filtered light of every color under the sun. Color is never not light.
Deconstruction is like seeing through the colors. Meditation is like being light.
Thoughts are very colorful. Getting caught in a thought is the rabbit hole of belief. Baby I’m a maze!
One is never not one self. One forgets oneself remembering memory as oneself.
Of course, I’m not a memory, but who am I? If not the known, the unknown.
a sonnet of notes
six footnotes
1. space-time is the first state of unenlightened consciousness. the mandukya calls this state, deep sleep.
2. light is like love and the filter is belief. emotion is the color. rage, rage, against the dying of the light.
3. see through daytime. be the light.
4. if one attaches to a thought, the thought projects itself to no end.
5. the lower-case self is the antiself.
6. real slow. memory is another name for forgetting. forgetting memory is another name for remembering myself. spontaneous self-awareness.
eight end notes
fear is the known. the unknown is fearless.
social conditioning is a horror show.
social media is psychological warfare.
belief is the dreamstate virus.
all religions, i.e. beliefs, including scientific materialism, lead to some dead end.
consciousness is neither dead nor alive.
self-shining consciousness is natural awareness. and ananda.
return of satcitananda!
afterword
one cure for hiccups is to breathe in as deep as possible and then to release the breath as slow as possible.
part one is mind training. part two is embodiment.
spacetime is emptiness, emptiness is spacetime.
i'm the world's worst hypochondriac.
sooner or later, i know better.
sooner or later, i'll have an alibi. or some new alias.
breathe. this is the last resort. paradise!
take no sides prisoner.
projection is the natural course of events.
it's always something you ate.
people don't eat belief. people eat true believers. political science 101.
thank you aunt einah.
consciousness asleep is psychosomatic.
cause is effect, effect is cause.
cause and effect appears in that pause between breaths.
i used to be a good speller. i'm younger than that now.
Buy me a flute and a gun that shoots
Tailgates and substitutes
Strap yourself to a tree with roots
You ain't goin' nowhere
~Bob Dylan
in the name ot unity, bodhi, and bliss.
power up! or whatever metaphor floats your boat.
i - t = i
If the world is physical and dreaming is mental, deep sleep is the immaculate conception.
The big bang happens every morning like clockwork, or groundhog day. Every man a king, every day a universe.
The immaculate conception is spacetime without thought or thought-forms. This is blowing my mind:
as thought, of course, must come before a thought-form, the dreaming state actually precedes the waking state
and not vice versa as you think. Spacetime, dreamtime, daytime–it’s the downwards vector of this reflexive universe.
In other words, dreams should foretell. They only don’t because yesterday’s universe wasn’t dropped at bedtime.
Sneak preview: lucid dreaming comes after daytime. Lucid dreaming isn't what one thinks. But that which one loves.
a process of footnotes
1. spacetime is subatomic.
2. memory is karma.
3. the unborn being born is basically the big bang.
4. the unborn being born is the definition of a dream.
5. in this way, dreamtime is obviously aboriginal.
6. lucid dreaming is seeing through memory.
lucid dreaming is to dreamtime as meditating self-shining consciousness or rigpa is to spacetime.
7.
a.
all religions mean well.
but all is well already.
beyond dreamtime is lucidtime.
beyond spacetime is meditation.
beyond awareness is self-awareness.
b.
deconstruction is the anti-form of lucid dreaming.
i love that every word is defined by more words.
spacetime. dreamtime. daytime. turiya.
spacetime. dreamtime. daytime. beyond spacetime, dreamtime, daytime. turiya.
i love my swiss knife.
awareness. spacetime. dreamtime. daytime. lucid loving deconstruction. intuition, contemplation, meditation. self-awareness.
Self-shining consciousness is natural awareness. This is the heart of electric nonduality.
Don’t let the nouns get in the way of experiential adjectives.
Pay attention to your crown chakra. That’s actually your third eye. Now downloading.
There’s nothing you can do but let it happen if you need to sing along.
Just because it’s nonconceptual doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel like something.
the four footnotes of the heart of electric nonduality
jake, it's ananda
i play in a power trio
with sat and cit
i play lead guitar
we call ourselves electric nonduality
scientific materialism is all greek and roman but no ananda
call me son ananda
ananda is not conceptual. it will blow your mind.
in the world, ananda is experienced as unconditional love
i was fortunate enough to have a daughter
third eye, first eye
atman is brahman
is disbelief
son rivers has been a son ananda production.
feeling is the new listening.
the mind uses the body to send messages to itself.
consciousness uses the mind for self-awareness.
feeling is not a sixth sense. it is the first.
losing touch with intuition is the tragedy of hamlet.
ananda, ananda, ananda.
There are non-conceptual peepers in the Massachusetts wetlands tonight.
Non-conceptual experience is needed for the mind to do its work.
This mirroring myself is taking a spacetime of sleeping, dreaming, and awakening.
Don’t throw away the baby with the bathwater.
Don’t throw away the mind with the world.
As it is above, self-awareness is below.
Quantum science and physical science are united in a universe of reflexive self-awareness.
It’s perfectly well to think all is not well.
This is where Arrested Development contradicts appearances and says that all is well.
One comes to non-conceptual self-awareness through samsara.
