contemplating 101. experientially i.

"Not thinking I fully know nor not know, it’s thus known." Without a myth to live, like Bartleby, I'd be preferring not to.

But knowing one's being as the only knowledge needing to be known is seeing through this need for myth tonight.

In contemplation, all I know is this knowing I am, in fact, I am this ‘I am’, and further, the I of this ‘I am’ is that original I within this contemplation.

Even experientially, the I is absolute. That is pure awareness. It’s also called direct enlightenment. The sun of science says black hole.

footnotes

psa. being there are ten thousand causes, anything is the cure. just turn one.

psa. pain may mean there hasn’t been an honest change in way too many months. so try changing something at least every month. consider the names of the moons as suggestions if you haven’t got a clue. every season is a brave new world. each person is a rebel without a cause.

summer's manifesto

Thus it's the first day after the summer solstice and sunset tonight is comparatively silent—but the young birds love this midsummer twilight!

So this time of year, I go to the picture window as if it were the sea and look for fireflies. They descend from the ground and slowly fall into the black hole of space. Call me self-awareness.

The last flowering pagoda dogwood wedding day of June feels like death. It’s completely conceptual but I need more fireworks!

Consider the lilies of early July—day lilies, trumpet lilies, a prophecy of lovely lilies! Get over the spring. Get over all aspects of identity and be nakedly unknown.

There's a sandbar in the river where a glacial moraine is being destroyed by the current. By early July, a crowd of boats is playing there.

Every year the lambs reappear in the neighbor’s field next door despite all death and rebirth. In the morning, there's a little one that likes to lie behind a bleached-out log and watch the people passing by.

Because there was a stop sign, I stopped for the chicken crossing the road. But the rooster wanted something like an invitation—cross already! Slowly it turns and suddenly I take a right.

Goldenrod is blooming in the sunny spaces of the south-facing riverbank. Soon the purple loosestrife shall be invasive in the wetlands. All of this because divinity of memory. Divine imagination.

Yes, every year about this time beginning late July, I start to think about the purple loosestrife—and like a miracle it appears within a week or two. Listen, in an ode to purple loosestrife, the world is divided because I am divided.

Accordingly I saw three separate instances of a lone purple loosestrife today, each at least a mile from another. Purple blossoms first appear like the gentle flame on a single tall green candle. In a week or two, these wetlands will be a godly inferno of purple loosestrife, an invasive plant apparently, but nevertheless one of truth and beauty.

The windows are open. It's late July and if memory serves me right, crickets are just around the corner. But tonight, there's not a single sound. It's like a ryokan here and I'm writing in an ancient hut, all calligraphy and enlightening intent. 

This week I had to stop the car to let three wild turkeys cross the road. After every step, there’s a sudden stop. Necks appear to whiplash! The fourth one kindly stopped for me and I continued down the road.

Lately I see rabbits and not the wonderland kind. There's something about a rabbit in the grass. As if consciousness is there in both vast ears and listening. Hearkening only, full of intent and prime for spontaneity. Hearkening only.

Disassociation is an ego thing. Leaves don't fall until the fall and neither does self-awareness. As consciousness is the expression of the absolute, I am the divine imagination of consciousness—lucid, improvisational, inspirational.

The gardens are full of stunning Black-eyed Susans today. Like so many yellow suns emanating in the nameless—O Susan, Susan, lovely dear, my vows shall ever true remain; let me kiss off that falling tear; we only part to meet again.

Seventh of August and the sun is setting before eight. Darkness doesn't fool me anymore. From the rim, I've seen the sunrise go on and on from butte to butte in Grand Canyon. I know that golden point of view.

Love is not some beautiful projection. Love is that projecting. Follow the light not of this world. For Jesus is Adam and Eve is Atman is Brahman is nameless noumenon. Last night I finally heard the crickets.

symphony nine. the godmother. for agnes.

Consciousness knows that matter appears within Consciousness despite what matter believes. Scientific deconstruction of belief can't deconstruct the Consciousness in which it is appearing.

As religion is the old belief, postmodern humanistic western scientific big materialism is the new belief. Only Consciousness is the knowledge that truly deconstructs.

Look, Consciousness is the nondual expression of the noumenal absolute potentiality. As love is the hand of Consciousness and mind its tool, divine imagination is constructing self-awareness to original intent.

Like Zen, first deconstruct the antichrist of one's delusional conditioning. This is called indirect persuasion, or sutra. Attending to Consciousness is called direct cultivation or enlightenment. Tantra.

Three weeks of anything deconstructs belief but a single sunrise is embodiment. Four suns are nondual expressions of black holes as I am. Nine the name ground zero being self-aware, I am That.

symphony eight. nondual manifest. for elizabeth.

Birth and rebirth is biological and goes back all the way to the immaculate conception or what big science calls the big bang. In other words, consciousness is unborn and is in fact the nondual manifestation of the absolute unknown.

Appearances arise in consciousness and not vice-versa. This is called the final turning or understanding I am that I-am. Once seen the sign is not unseen. Although conditioning appears to take like a decade to drop away when in reality spontaneity and synchronicity are one in revelation.

If universal consciousness is the expression of the absolute and the absolute unknown is the inspiration of consciousness, which breath came first? Beauty or Truth. Authenticity is in the eye of the witness. Self-awareness is a hyphenated word.

That consciousness and the absolute is nondual doesn't indicate that one precedes the other, despite what sages say in the morning as to afternoon, but such division into some subsequential order is the big joke, great paradox, and the very first myth.

triple distilled
1. as the absolute unknown is the nondual unmanifest of universal consciousness by these words.
2. remember mind is the loving tool of the immaculate heart of absolute self-awareness
3. between wisdom and love moves the mystery
4. being is easy, no thought is being—unless no thought is a thought, but that is another story.
there’s knowledge. call this i am. there’s the unknown. call this that.
remember. self-awareness is the buddha of awareness as being is the christ of self-awareness and love is the hand of rumi's masnavi as the kena upanishad is a tool of love.
between the love of this known and the wisdom of that unknown is now
comedy kills and koan deconstruct. ishmael only is left to tell about it.
 

symphony seven. tell it paradoxical. for molly.

Without consciousness, the mind is just gray matter. And as the mind is the source of a black-and-white world and consciousness is source of dividing mind, pure awareness is the sourceless source.

Self-awareness is the electric intent of this star-crossed medium played by the loving hands of heart in Absolute Mary. As matter is nothing but everything matters, mind is an all-important hyphen.

If self-awareness is the child and pure awareness is the parent, then the holy ghost is being. For the machine is in the ghost and not vice versa. The antichrist called social conditioning possesses all ignorance, child.

So tell the truth but tell it paradoxical. Not only doesn't the mind become enlightened, there's no enlightenment without the mind. And nonduality is just the point behind this fine print.

symphony six. making myth. for gladys.

Believing myth is the origin of every religion. Denying myth is dying for someone else's dream. Making myth is the point behind lucid dreaming. Lucid dreaming is dreaming while awake.

The world is a myth divided. So the world can't put the world together again. For politics is the definition of divided. And consciousness only is a nondual manifestation.

Self-awareness is an omnipotent feature of absolute awareness and being is the heart of intentional self-awareness. Love is the hand of being and myth is the tool of love.

In the name of the potentiality of light, binding quantum force, identity of atomic attachments, the combine and awakening, growing, going further, and this dominion of consciousness, pure awareness is self-aware.

symphony five. the sea and seeing. for christine.

Let attention focus on being itself. That is pure awareness reflecting in consciousness. It takes a single word to make a simple myth and all of thirteen to form a grand unified one.

After awakening from dreaming, either one is creating, living, and destroying myth—or one is dying in a socially conditioned story. Listen, gods make myths. People only act them.

Self-awareness, as a feature of omnipotent and absolute awareness, necessitates not only this attention to consciousness, but being's instrument of mind, the quantum myth-maker, as well.

Not nihilistic, existentialist, nor addicted to personal deconstruction, but infinite Krishna, Vishnu, Shiva, and the never-ending universal Buddhas dancing with the Sufi chorus on the Isle of Patmos.

That first hiking on the Island, after the ancient art of bedrock steps and then ascending an earth of desert pink granite, I see the sea—as if the sea and seeing is synchronicity, revelation, Sand Beach!